


a desire to belong

by thisissirius



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 04:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/pseuds/thisissirius
Summary: Christmas Day is overwhelming.

robert spends christmas day with the dingles.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seektheinfinite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seektheinfinite/gifts).



> just something i wrote for @seektheinfinite because she's amazing. it's part of her _twelve days of christmas_ surprises :)
> 
> i hope this is good for you <3

Christmas Day is overwhelming.

 

 

 

The three of them are up early, bundling themselves into jackets and shoes before the rest of the pub are even up. They’re presents are still settled under the tree, piled high with the amount of people’s shoved haphazardly underneath. Robert’s surprised when Aaron suggests a walk, and even Liv gives in. She’s excited, cheeks warm and eyes bright with the idea of playing in the snow. Aaron’s equally as excited, even if he’s buried it under a layer of grumbling, jacket bunched up around his ears. Robert’s game, pulling on bodywarmer and jacket, grinning as he wraps an arm around Aaron’s shoulders and tugs him in. It’s barely half nine, but Robert feels more awake than he usually does on Christmas morning, especially when they step out into the village and he gets a blast of cold air to the face.

“Christ,” he mutters, shuffling deeper into his jacket.

Aaron snorts. “It’s not that bad.”

“No?” Robert says, an evil glint to his eye. He waits till Aaron’s pulled away, chasing Liv down the road and grabs a handful of snow.

“Rob,” Aaron starts, turning to face him, just as a snowball arcs through the air and smacks him in the shoulder.

“Oh my god,” Liv laughs, diving away from Robert as Aaron retaliates.

Robert turns on his heel, runs, and just feels _happy_ even as he’s racing away from the cold threat of snow.

  

 

 

The pile of presents is whittled down slowly, the pub back room crammed full; everyone’s tearing into paper, shouting to be heard over each other, and eating their way through a pile of food dumped on the table. It’s a bit much to get used to, but Robert can’t stop smiling anyway. He’s on the floor, squeezed in between the coffee table and the Christmas Tree, a small collection of presents at his feet. He’s been trying to keep his nerd life a secret, but it seems it’s not anymore; between the graphic novels ( _they_ _’re not comics_ , he grouses too many times), Star Wars memorabilia, and the lifesize BB8 from Liv, Robert’s sure he’s never going to be able to hide it again. He doesn’t feel as ashamed of that as he once did; he can be himself, he remembers telling Aaron, and it’s more true now.

“You okay?” Aaron asks, chin resting on Robert’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Robert says, because he _is_. It’s just. Overwhelming. “So where’s my gift from you?”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but plants a kiss to Robert’s head anyway. “Later,” he promises lowly, eyes on the rest of the room.

Robert feels a little thrill at that, curls his hand into Aaron’s. He wants to say something, but doesn’t know what. Thankfully, Chas starts making noises about heading into the pub to meet the others.

“Jumper on first,” she says, waving a finger at Robert threateningly.

The jumper from Paddy — a surprise in and of itself — is hideous and probably his own little joke at Robert’s expense. Thankfully Aaron has one too, and if he can wear his, Robert can too. Liv and Noah already are, and Robert’s not about to be upstaged by them.

“Wear it,” Aaron says, leaning in, breath hot on Robert’s ear. “I’ll make it worth your while later.”

Robert’s gonna hold him to that promise.

 

 

 

The Dingles are _interesting_.

Robert’s always thought of them as apart from the rest of the village. Now that he’s with Aaron, now that he spends every waking moment (almost) surrounded by Aaron’s family, they’re starting to grow on him. To be fair, he has more in common with them than he likes to think, not that he’ll ever admit that to anyone. Maybe Aaron, if convinced enough. He’s done some unsavoury things himself, and not always for the admirable reasons they do; family. Though that’s starting to mean as much to him as it is to the Dingles. Aaron, Liv, Vic, even Chas and Adam. They’re _important_ , and Robert’s determined to keep his grip on them.

After the disaster with Zac and Joanie, Robert’s reminded unceremoniously of the reveal of his own infidelity and mess, and sinks into the corner out of the way. Aaron gravitates towards him, always mindful of Robert’s moods, and rests a hand at the base of his spine.

“Okay?”

Robert could lie, opens his mouth to do so, and surprises them both when he says, “No.” His lips quirk up a little, and he turns to the sink, Aaron following so that they’re bracketed out of the way. “It’s fine.”

Aaron kisses his shoulder, neck. “I love you.”

The confession is starting to become easier, and Robert hopes he never stops feeling that rush of giddiness everytime Aaron says it. Smiling, Robert curls his hands into Aaron’s jumper, buries his nose in Aaron’s neck. “I love you too.”

 

 

 

“It looks good on you,” Lisa says, once the craziness has died down somewhat.

They’re in the kitchen, Robert trying to wash up at least some of the mess. “What does?”

Lisa’s eyes are knowing, the eyes of a mother, Robert thinks briefly, before she’s gesturing at him. “Happiness. You’re good with Aaron. With Liv.”

Robert must make a face, because Lisa laughs softly.

“I’ve been watching you with her. Aaron’s lucky.”

“I’m lucky,” Robert says, before he can stop himself. He’s not ashamed, would shout his love for Aaron to the world if he needed to.

“And happy?” Lisa asks. She looks sad, then, but covers it up with a quick smile. It doesn’t reach her eyes.

Robert feels a flash of guilt at being so happy when she’s not. He drops the tea towel on the draining board, folding his arms across his chest. “Yeah. Yeah I am.”

“That’s good, love,” Lisa tells him, and there’s not a hint of a lie in her words.

 

 

 

Eventually things wind down; Liv, Noah and Samson have fallen asleep, all of them crashed out upstairs. Cain’s disappeared with Kyle, and Robert starts making noises about going home. Aaron’s drunk, Robert tipsy, and Robert uses that as an excuse for why he allows Chas to bring him into the hug, but he doesn’t touch her. It’s still new, still uncomfortable, even if he wants to force himself to allow it. He grins at her parting shot of, “It’s slippy!” like he’s not over thirty and capable of looking after himself.

As soon as they’re outside, Robert hauls Aaron in, tucking him under his shoulder. It’s a sign of how drunk Aaron is that he lets him, the two of them stumbling a little as they head back to the pub. Robert’s desperate to get home, to relax with just _Aaron._

As soon as they tumble into the pub, shedding their jackets and shoes, Robert tugs Aaron up the stairs. Pliant, Aaron’s smiling as he follows, stopping on every step almost to pull Robert down for a kiss. He tastes of snowballs, of turkey and Christmas. Robert always finds him intoxicating, wants more, and takes and takes. Eventually his back hits their door and he stumbles inside.

Aaron kisses him, wraps an arm around Robert’s neck, grip strong. Robert will never tire of kissing him; lips numb, noses brushing, eyes closed. It makes him feel alive in a way kissing somebody else never could. It’s so totally _Aaron_.

When they finally part, Robert rests a hand on Aaron’s cheek, stares at him. “I love you.”

Aaron’s smile is soft and careful. “You’ve had a good day, yeah?”

“Course,” Robert says. It couldn’t be anything but; this was his first Christmas with Aaron, as proper boyfriends — _fiances._ His first Christmas with _Liv_ , and even if it terrifies him a little, Robert can’t wait to spend the rest of his life with them, forging a life for himself out of the mess he’s made for so long.

“Want your present?” Robert asks, lips brushing Aaron’s.

Aaron’s hands are a pointed weight on Robert’s hips. “Nah,” he says, eyes dark. “They can wait till after.”

Robert doesn’t have to ask _after what_ and grins, pulling Aaron back towards the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](http://sapphicsugden.tumblr.com) :)


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